Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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