I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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