you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
