so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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