Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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