just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Ladies don't puke and tell
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize