I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize