Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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