Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
