he told me I talked like a deaf person
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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