My nipple is on Facebook.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
