Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
