Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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