I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
