My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
