i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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