I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
