I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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