well you can't waste a boner
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
