I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it glows. i had to have it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize