I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
