Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
