I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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