You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
