I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
thus making me awesome and them whores
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
