I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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