apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
