Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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