I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize