dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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