remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
