she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
