The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
