you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
