OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize