It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
