my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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