i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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