sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
