yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize