So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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