Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
