he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
