you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
