At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
don't judge my taste in strippers
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
