what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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