I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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