but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
