haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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