No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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