just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
