I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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