i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
