Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
