come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
