Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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