If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
