Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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