I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
