my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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