garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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