I cut my penus on the lid.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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