Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i barfeds in our rink
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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